How to Lose Friends and Irritate People
Since it was first published in 1938 more than 15,000,000 copies of the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” have been sold. I first read it in 2003. As per the author’s instructions I read it through twice. I also listened to the audio version several times in my car. The book has a special meaning to me because it was a “common ground” between my wife, Jamie, and I when we first met. Some people had “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” we had “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” So you might be able to say it helped me “win” the most important friend in my life.
Over the years I have had a few conversations with colleagues that have gone in the direction of “venting.” We were venting mainly about incompetence, apathy and downright mean-spirited treatment we’ve encountered from all kinds people. Some of these people were family, friends, co-workers or owned businesses we were dealing with. We joked at times that we should write a book called “How to Lose Friends and Irritate People.” It’s funny, because there’s a book titled: “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.” It’s a memoir by a guy named Toby Young. It was also turned into a movie. (news to me!) I’ve never read it or have I seen the movie despite Meghan Fox being a supporting actor.
I doubt our book “How to Lose Friends and Irritate People” will ever be made into a movie – and there’s a slim chance that it’ll ever be written. This article might be it! But here’s what I know. Some people learn when they are taught what NOT to do. We all learn the hard way! So while “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a mega-success, some can’t use it because it is about what “to do” and not what “not to do.”
So if you want to lose friends and irritate people do the following. Or simply learn what NOT to do and you’ll be OK. Here we go…
How to Lose Friends and Irritate People
1- Make a lot of Excuses. Once people become aware of your excuse making prowess they’ll exit your life if they are smart. You’ll also be guaranteed to really irritate them until the time they realize it’s in their best interest to get as far away from you as they can.
2- Over Promise and Under Deliver. Do this once and you’ll be certain to strike some nerves. More than once and you’ll never have to see your subject again (if they’re smart)!
3- Don’t return phone calls. I know voice mail is tough to keep up with. Wait, is that an excuse?
4- Don’t return emails. We understand, you’re the only person who has too many in your in-box. The rest of us are sitting here anxiously awaiting for the AOL guy to say, “you’ve got mail!”
5-Send stupid Facebook messages.
6- Don’t make an effort to keep in touch. Yep, this is a tough one and it’s more in the category of “losing friends.” The truth: Both sides need to give a little when time and distance takes its toll on a personal relationship.
So there you have it. A success and self-help classic put in the “do the opposite tone” for all us who must learn the hard way.