Flakiness
The definition of flaky is whacky, dizzy and eccentric. Of course many of us know the word flaky as a way to describe people that are UN-reliable or change their mind a lot. Or, simply say one thing and do another.
My disclaimer:
I never pontificate when I write. I simply pass on observations and experiences that are filtered through my own knowledge of what’s effective and what’s not effective in achieving ones desired results. I am totally aware of all my short-comings. I am working on some and others are on the back-burner. One thing I’m working on for example, is not double booking myself. Sometimes I’ll agree to a meeting or something and not put it in my calender. Then, something else will demand my attention at that same time and I’ll be forced to shuffle things around. Anyway…
The problem with flakiness is it usually effects more people than just the flaky person. The flaky person’s actions not only sabotage his success, but usually end up holding others back.
We live in this world of interdependence. I depend on you and you depend on me and then there are others who depend on what we produce and the world goes round and round.
A recent flaky episode…(names, situation and identities left out)
I sat in on a meeting recently and the person across from me said: “OK Mike, you send me X right away and then I’ll do Y with it.” Like any entrepreneur worth his salt, I went back to my office and sent what I needed to send. Then a strange thing happened…. Nothing! No confirmation and more importantly the “Y” never happened. After that, not even a mention of it again. Almost as if the time spent at the meeting talking about this particular item only tool place in my wild imagination.
So how do you deal with flaky people and how do you improve your own flakiness? Since “whacking” flaky people is not always the best option and improving yourself is something you’re into, here goes…
It starts with the understanding the Four Stages of Learning and Awareness. These four stages can also be applied to flakiness.
Unconscious Incompetence- That’s when you are flaky and don’t know you are flaky. This is the most dangerous. If you ever find yourself dealing with someone at this stage – don’t try to fix them, you are wasting your time.
Conscious Incompetence – At this stage the lights are starting to come on. More importantly, the flaky person’s mind is now open and things can be improved.
Conscious Competence – This is when the work to get better starts to pay off. The flakiness is gone. But there’s a small chance of regression if the effort not to be flaky is not kept up.
Unconscious Competence- It’s the place to be. It’s when we are competent all the time and we don’t even have to think about it. In this context we’d be doing everything we needed to do with minimal flakiness automatically.
We all real busy, some of us working harder than ever. If you end up flaking on a few things here an there, don’t beat yourself up. When it comes to others who flake on you – you just have to know where to draw the line.
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