The old bit about “Do as I say not as I do” might be meant to be a joke but it plays out all the time in all aspects of life.

To think any particular person is not subject to the rule of…

“Saying one thing and doing another” is a head-in-the-sand approach at best.

Only ignorance or naivete can be blamed here.

And I “pity the fool” who lets himself get strung along by someone who says one thing but does another.

Some cases of saying and doing are not so bad, really. In fact, there are times when it is absolutely necessary to say one thing and do another. If you’re in management or you’re an owner of a business – sure you can perform the job if you have to – but if you wanted to perform the job yourself – why hire anyone in the first place? In this scenario telling people to do something while you’re off doing something else is completely appropriate. Anyone who challenges you should face the music.

What I want to give you here is a safeguard against being lulled into a time and money suck set up by serial “say one thing and do another” practitioners.

Set Measurable Expectations

This is something I experienced first hand recently. For two weeks someone paid me lip service about “how wonderful it all was” and “how great everything was going to turn out.” Sadly, two weeks in, this person made no notable progress. The expectations were clear, the accountability measurements in place, but nothing happened. Were my expectations UN-realistic? No, not at all.

Here’s a Secret…

How to spot a possible say one thing and do another person is to carefully keep an eye on their willingness to take small steps in the direction promised. If their words are of grand ambition, but their actions are not consistent with actually starting – you can stop wasting your time.

Everything requires your willingness to start off slow and make improvements. Yes, there are exceptions to this rule and things can occasionally happen really fast. But give me a quiet, slow starter who is simply willing to start and I’ll take him over a “talk a good game” fiddler who only succeeds in blowing smoke up my butt.

At the end of the day – listen for what they say – but watch carefully for what they do.

If you’re wondering where my warped mind came up with the idea for this article it was after reading this…

“A survey by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety found 94% of drivers consider texting while driving “a serious threat” and 87% favor texting bans, more than a third admitted reading a text or e-mail while driving in the past month. Nearly 70% of drivers reported talking on their cellphone while they were driving.”

Note- only a third “admitted” to reading a text or email while driving. You can bet your venti caramel coffee drink– more drivers than a third are reading emails and texting while driving.

One pointed to the current state of affairs in public High Schools and the other talked about the lack of financial knowledge among Millennials.

I must say it was refreshing for a main-stream news organization to report on how “lack of specialized knowledge” (my words, not theirs) is one of the root causes of money problems. Refreshing? Yes! Because no where in the articles did I spot blaming the rich or the bankers for the plight. The over-riding message was one of “solutions.”

My radar for these type of stories is currently extra turned on because I am working with a client who is a financial expert. I’ll leave the “specialized knowledge” on this subject to him!

So where does success start?

Even if we start teaching financial education in high school and make it a course requirement of higher education – knowledge will always be a choice. Even if it is forced on you – it’s a choice for you to absorb it.

Success Starts With a Quest for Knowledge

If you look at anyone who has achieved success in any field you’ll be able to see a point on their time-line when they became a sponge. Lady Gaga studied and imitated the pop stars who were breaking records when she was a kid. Success Gurus like Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy were (and still are) students of other success gurus of the past and present.

The quest starts with admitting there are things you don’t know. The next step is the discipline to go into “acquisition mode” and start to take it all in and then apply it as quickly as possible.

She said…

“A good leader can shake you to wake you without having to break you.” Something like that.

That quote can mean different things in different contexts. In our age of distraction and numerous amounts of communication flying at us from every angle – let’s look at this way…

The need to “shake and wake” people, whether they be employees, colleagues, co-workers, friends, prospects, your market or your family, with your communication is greater than ever before. The sad truth is everyone is distracted. The people you are communicating with have a ton of internal and external distractions going on at just about every second throughout the day.

The Week When They Heard Everything I Did Not Say…

Last week I had one of those weeks.

I looked inside and blamed myself. It just seemed like a large portion of my intended communication ended up being interpreted 180 degrees different from the intention. I questioned my clarity. I analyzed each scenario and tried to figure out what my problem was.

Whenever you look internally first you can think objectively about self-improvement. So I recommend you do that all the time. Plus, only after analyzing yourself can you actually take joy in your conclusion of others being at fault via their incompetence, flakiness and lack of focus!

The more clear you are and the more “present” you are in the moment of delivery the better your chances of remaining sane when the inevitable – “huh?” moment creeps up on you. The “Huh Moment” is when you discover your communication totally went on def ears or landed in a mind that was not present to absorb it properly.

O’Reilly Gave Me The Idea for This Article…

If I find myself in front of my TV during the 8 O’clock hour I always tune in to Bill O’Reilly. One of his segments at the end of each show is when he reads email from viewers. Last week I got an “AHA moment” during the segment.

He read four different emails pertaining to an interview he did with the mother of Trevon Martin, the Florida teen who was killed by George Zimmerman. Two of the emails congratulated Bill O’Reilly for his interview scolded him for a poor interview.

And there you have it.

The second reason next to distraction your messages don’t land as you thought they would.

Everyone takes in communication through their own filters, their own beliefs, and their own frame of the world. Their understanding and knowledge of the subject matter influences how it processes too.

So what should you make of all this? Well, I bet you have had those moments. I bet you have experienced frustration because of your seemingly clear, concise and to the point communication being misunderstood.

I am leaning toward the “Shake ‘em to wake ‘em” M-O. To communicate so clearly to the point of almost offending others. To wake them from their slumber of distraction. To occupy their thoughts so it sinks in. Am I saying you have to be on a mission to purposely offend others? No, what I am saying is you are more likely to offend when you are, clear, concise and to the point without beating around the bush. Because of this you can not help but possibly offend the easily offended.

I hope I made myself perfectly clear!

**Toastmasters is an international organization that helps you improve your communication skills.

In one of my talks I explain to the audience how your mind is like a manufacturing plant. A manufacturing plant needs quality raw materials in to produce quality products. The mind works the same way. You need quality information. Little gems and ideas to produce your own ideas, actions and behaviors.

And the good news…

The ideas, information and gems can be found anywhere and at anytime. Your mind can snag something valuable and turn it into something even more valuable. his stuff is everywhere. Let me give you an example…

I’m on a ton of different email lists. Over the years of following different people and buying things it’s just what happens. Plus, I very rarely “opt out.” Yes, I’ll admit, it can be a pain because my emails rack up pretty quickly. But I’m able to keep up with important ones related directly to clients and business.

Anyway…

Once in a while a subject line will grab me (email marketing lesson) and I’ll take a look. Many times my curiosity is satisfied and I move on. Other times, it’s clear I wasted my time. But every now and then I pick up some real value.

The gems sometimes come in the form a purchase – a book – a product – a course that’s helpful to my business. But other times, the gem was totally free. It comes to me at the right time and I get a little “aha” moment.

This happened recently…

I opened an email from someone who I hadn’t opened in months. The subject line got me. I checked it out. Then I forwarded the email to my partner. She wrote back… “We should do something similar.” I thought – “Great idea, consider it done!” The next morning our version of the idea was complete. Now here’s the kicker. Money came in within one week of implementation. For the last two weeks it has been proven to be a truly valuable addition to our marketing. And all it was – was our version (I will say much better and more refined) of something we took a quick peak from an email that was sent to us for free.

Yes! I completely understand that people have to “opt out” of email lists. You say something they don’t agree with and they’re gone. You offend them because you tell the truth about their plight and the solutions for getting out. But they don’t want truth, they want fantasy.

Remember! All ideas that end up profitable are placed in minds that are open. That’s it, end of story. Close your mind and lose out.

Whenever you know a “big day” is coming the good news is you usually have time to prepare. The bad news is you have time to get yourself all worked up with anxiety.

Maybe the “worked up” comes out in nerves or lack of sleep. It’s bad if the “worked up” actually causes you to perform at a lower level than you’re capable of.

I am a firm believer that strong preparation results in confidence and competence, which can lead to a solid performance. But there have been times for all of us where last minute jitters or nerves really got in the way mo matter how prepared we were.

The lesson is that preparation, confidence and competence must be combined with strategies to defeat the nerves and anxiety.

This is where a little self-talk and fooling your subconscious mind come in to play.

Out of several recent “performances” three similar scenarios have played out the same way and have led me to a new belief system which over-rides anxiety.

Okay, here goes…

Did you ever have “the dream” the night before your performance that things got really messed up?

I have. On several occasions I dreamt I screwed up on TV, was stuck in traffic and would never make it on time and was once faced with an unruly crowds as I attempted to begin a talk.

But nothing in my dreams came true. Everything worked out fantastic. So now, guess what? Instead of making the dream steal my sleep. Or work on my nerves. Or cause me to vomit! I now take it as a sign that everything is going to go extremely well. In fact, I thank my subconscious mind for giving me a little “warning” and an extra incentive to leave early and prepare even more.

Am I saying this will work for you? NO! What I am saying is for you to develop a strategy for dealing with those performance jitters so you can walk away a winner every time.

Maybe it’s been dark for a while and then all of sudden… “POP” – Light!

Of course, we are talking metaphorically here.

One of my goals is to have a few light-bulbs go off each week.

These are moments when what you thought was complex suddenly seems simple.

Times when something you thought was hard becomes easier.

Situations where scattered vision becomes clarity of focus.

When the brakes are released and it’s now obvious to you you’ll be able to get where you want to be a whole lot faster!

Naturally, these moments must be followed by massive action.

If you wait too long to get in motion, eventually the light burns out.

On Friday I had the awesome privilege to witness four-teen separate light-bulbs come on. I saw them all shine bright during the “So You Wanta Write a Book? Now’s Your Time, Here’s How” Event I co-produced with fellow Author and Professional Speaker, Steve Gamin. Based on of the positive Facebook comments, it’s also clear they are ready to take some action!

So what’s the secret to facilitating “Light-Bulb Moments” in your life?

Here’s where to start…

1. Open Mind: There’s no power to light it up if you’re missing an open mind.
2. Desire: There must be a strong inner drive to break through and move passed what is holding you back.
3. Ideas and Information: Turning your brain into an information sponge (the right kind of information) can reveal to you “what you’ve been missing.”

I hope you’ll have a few “Light-Bulb Moments” this week.

Maybe because I’m constantly watching it.

Maybe because it’s always on my mind.

Head out of the gutter!

Perhaps because once it’s gone – it’s gone.

It could be that it can easily slip through your fingers and my fingers.

OH! Now I know why it’s on my mind this week.

My seven year-old, first grader, Julia, has been obsessed with it.

Asking about in the morning and telling me what she’s learned about it in school.

Actually, I’m really glad she’s obsessed with it. It can spell the difference between success and failure in life.

It’s on my mind again because sadly, most clients point to a “lack of it” as the number one excuse for not getting certain things to me when I need them in order to implement, move along or finish their marketing projects.

Alright! You’ve had enough of my riddle.

And I bet it’s the number one excuse you receive in your business and personal life. If not number one, it’s certainly in the top four.

What we’re talking about here is “Time.”

Time to get done what you want.

Time to work on your goals.

Time to build solid relationships and enhance the ones you have.

Even though you and me are “tight on time” because of all of the great things we want to accomplish we really can’t or shouldn’t use it as our number one excuse any longer.

Why?

You will make time for anything you value or deeply desire. And don’t be fooled, those desires and values can be going on total auto-pilot. A result of your subconscious programing, beliefs and frame you see the world through.

A few years ago we were looking for a house painter to handle our master bathroom. The ceilings are high and there are a whole bunch of weird angles and spaces. As inspirational as those Lowes’ commercials are that project was not for us and we knew it.

As I spoke to a few different painters I realized they all had one thing in common. The prices they quoted were “hourly.” One prospective painter had to be in his mid seventies. He told me he’d do the job himself and would charge $20 per hour. I told another painter the quote and he jokingly said, “Ask him if you get the wake and the funeral for that too?” I laughed! But this painter, who we have since used a couple of times, had a point.

The “hourly” thing puts all the risk on the buyer. I guess I can see how some employers must pay their people hourly. But for those of us in the world of producing results and solving problems, I am of the strong opinion to charge per the project. In the case of the bathroom it would go something like: “It’ll be $250 to get this done for you.” In the words of Trump… “You’re Hired!”

Not so fast…

You still must have a base-line. Meaning: You have a general idea of the least amount you can sell your time (life) for. This will vary depending on where you are in life and your feeling of value. Since everything you do to bring in the cashola requires some time you start from there and hopefully go up.

As a small business owner I am particular sensitive about vendors who want to charge me hourly. In my mind (which has been warped over time by success, failure and being screwed) I can not help but think of the meeter running on my project while they chat with their friends on Facebook. Call me paranoid if you want.

I am in the process of getting the audio version of Motion Before Motivation, The Success Secret That Never Fails, produced. This project is a good example of “hourly” combined with “results.” The service I am using calculates how long it would take based on the word count of the book.. Then, the voice talent bids for the job and specifies their hourly rate. You end up with the total for the job. The good news is you’re not paying for screw ups or for the guy to go the bathroom.

Honestly, I think charging for the hour and the hour alone is just plain lazy. If you want better results, charge for results and pay for results.

That would be nice wouldn’t it?

Well, I don’t have one for you here!

What I do have a simple suggestion for gaining a little more control over your work day.

And here it is…

Build a “Framework.”

Here’s my perspective on this – you should check it out with an open mind.

Everything has a frame. The body has its skeleton. The house has its studs and drywall. You get the idea. The details are the “meat.” But you have to start with the frame.

Why not structure your day like that?

Breakdown your responsibilities.

What are those tasks you end up doing each day? The details of the task are different, but the task is still the task.

Preparing these blog posts is built into the frame of my week. These posts can be written on Monday or Tuesday – the frame exists on each day. Sometimes these posts get written prior to Monday or Tuesday, but never on Wednesday because “The Frame” for doing them is not built into Wednesday.

Sound Goofy? It isn’t. Everything has a Frame. Of course some Frames are better than others. The TV shows you like have a frame that appeals to you. But with each new show the details change – the frame doesn’t.

You might think building a “Frame” for your work is inflexible. You’d be right. But you could tweak and expand your Frame as you see fit.

Begin by breaking things down a little. Put your tasks and “to-do’s” into segments – then fill in the blanks as you go. Build your framework to fit your business, your life and your goals.

The business of “Time Management Guru” or “Stay Focused Guru” might be a booming industry in the next few years if it’s not already.

Did you know recently we’ve renamed Gen X and Gen Y to Gen C? The C stands for “Connected.” Because there’s a whole lot of (us) in that age range who really are… always connected.

The challenge being “connected” brings about is that some things are made more effective and some are made less efficient.

Being more efficient can produce a time-savings. Example: I do a weekly radio show that is broadcast out of downtown Nashua, NH But I live in Tilton, NH which is a good hour or so drive. But I save the two hours driving, plus the gas and the quarters for parking because I can do the show from my office with a good microphone and an internet connection. I am happy to be connected!

The other night I received an email from a client whose new website just went live. She received her first lead from the site. Someone checked out a page of hers -liked what he saw and submitted his info to get her special offer. Since this was her first lead she was not quite sure what to make of it. In her email she asked me to clarify. So I did and she was happy to get an answer to her question. But it was 6:30 on Friday evening. Am I upset she emailed me to ask a question? No way! I appreciate my clients for sure. But if I had left the office with no smartphone she may have called the office, got voicemail and her call would have been returned on Monday. That’s the way the world used to be.

Let’s assume you are staying connected for work related reasons. I guess the key is to find a balance. If it makes you happy to return an email to a customer or client you should do it. Just be careful it does not make you less efficient to the people who are around you. If I was at the dinner table with my family I would not have returned the client’s email so quickly.

When things take longer…

The flip side of being connected is to watch out if it is making you in-efficient. I can catch myself and I’ve been on a serious mission to police this. One tip I got from a stress management coach, Shanti Douglas, is to keep only one application open at a time. So if you’re writing a letter, only the word doc should be open. Easier said than done because it does take time to “fire up” your email as an example so it can be quicker to keep it open. The key is to resist the temptation to check it and make sure you are not getting notifications while you’re working on your letter. If so, being “connected” will reduce your productivity!

“Time’s Up” is My Secret Weapon

Instead of keeping your smartphone next to you and allowing it to buzz and beep and vibrate – turn all of that off. Then, set your timer. Give yourself twenty or thirty minutes to work on a task. Keep your head down and stay at it the whole time. Don’t go to Facebook because when you finally get back your time will be up! When time’s up – it’s up. Take a break and get ready for the next project or next part of the project you’re working on. Working against a timer is something you might as well get used to. Isn’t anything worth accomplishing – worth accomplishing in a certain period of time? Admit it… You work well under deadlines. So why not give yourself one with each task?

But the main reason to embrace the “Time’s Up” secret is because the fact is: One day ALL your time will be up. Gotta run because time’s up the Droid is buzzing to tell me I’m out of time.